


Slender Inc.

by Cyvonix



Series: Slender Inc. [1]
Category: Creepypasta - Fandom
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Horror, Parody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 16:53:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11166063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cyvonix/pseuds/Cyvonix
Summary: You've heard of these creepypasta protagonists, but never like this. What happens when the likes of Jeff the killer, Ticci Toby, Clockwork, and more are teamed up to work for the sinister Slenderman? The short answer: chaos. A parody on the concept of proxies and pasta monsters.





	1. Jeff the Kid

Jeff lie on his bed, motionless and staring at the ceiling with his earbuds playing vaporwave at full volume. His black emo hair was completely in his face, covering both bright blue eyes. His family had just moved into a new neighborhood, and he was in no mood to be out trying to make new friends; which is too bad, because ding dong there's the door, it's new friends.

"Jeff?!?" called out a voice. Jeff hopped to his feet and reluctantly went downstairs. His smiling mother, Margaret, stood waiting for him. He looked outside into the evening sunlight to see a lady who looked about the same age as his mom.

"Jeff, I'd like you to meet Miss- this here is Miss- um-"

"I'm Barbara."

"Yes, yes, of course. Barbs here-"

"Please don't call me that."

"Barbara here came to introduce her son Billy to you, now isn't that nice?"

Jeff looked at the small boy standing behind Barbara. Now Jeff wasn't one to be quick to judge, but this kid looked like a little asshole.

"Hey asshole." said Jeff. His mother gasped and smacked his face. Just then, Jeff's little brother walked into the room. Margaret beckoned him over.

"This is my other son, Liu. He's the good one!"

Barbara bent down to be on his level.

"Oh, hello little boy!"

Liu looked up at her face slowly before spitting out the gum he'd happened to be chewing at the time onto the floor.

"Sup skank?"

Both mothers gazed into the other's eyes.  
With an amount of synchronization rivaling telepathy, they both grabbed the door handle and slowly shut it, leaving each family on opposite sides.

After a 20 minute lecture/verbal abuse session regarding the aforementioned incident, the two brothers headed upstairs to lie down for the night. Tomorrow was their first day of school, and Jeff would be damned if he didn't look, smell, and act fresh to death when he got there.

"Princes do need their beauty sleep." he repeated to himself as he crawled into bed. As per usual, he heard his mom drop something in the kitchen and let it shatter followed by a colorful fleury of swear words. He swore every day spent with that woman was like a new lesson on what to make sure to never say around her. With the nightly panic out of the way, Jeff rested his head and went to sleep.


	2. Beginning of the End

The very next day, Jeff woke up ecstatic. He rushed downstairs to get ready for school. He and Liu ran down the street to the bus stop in order not to miss it. While waiting, though, three misshapen boys showed up on skateboards and began threatening the other kids. Jeff spoke up against them.

"Oh look, it's fuckin' Draco, Crabbe and Goyle! What are you guys doing here?"

The one in the center snapped his head toward Jeff.

"Excuse me, but I don't think you know who you're talkin' to. I'm Randy, and these here is Keith n' Troy."

Randy snapped his fingers and the other two ran toward Liu. They grabbed his arms and took the wallet from his pocket. Randy chuckled and shook his head like some sort of 80s movie villain. Jeff smirked at him.

"Kid, you're like ten."

"Shut up I'm 12!"

"Whatever. Give the wallet back or we'll have trouble."

"Everyone around here pays our bus fee. Beat it, loser."

Randy rounded up and swung his fist directly at Jeff's face. Jeff quickly reacted and grabbed his fist. He twisted hard and heard a popping sound.

"Oh shit I didn't mean to do all that." he said with a laugh being held in. Randy and the other two town bullies started running in the opposite direction. Jeff tried to apologize but they wouldn't listen. Strangely enough though, he felt good when he did that. He always knew he was a sadist at heart.

The day at school was an average one. Long, drawn-out, boring. The only exciting thing that happened was during lunch, when some girl named Jane got into a fist fight with another chick and absolutely demolished her face. Once he got home, that's when the real action started. When he was up in his room, he heard the door bell ring. He ran down and answered it to see a hulking police officer standing right in front of him.

"Jeffrey Woods?"

Jeff gulped.

"Y- yes, sir."

"We have reports of you assaulting three other boys... is this true?"

"No of course not! I-"

"We have the witnesses and evidence to back it up so please be truthful."

Jeff shook fervently and hesitated before speaking again.

"......What if I told you I support blue lives matter?"

"Alright just get in the car I'll talk to your mom."

Liu came out from the kitchen wielding a knife and a jumpsuit

"Dude, look! My Michael Myers cosplay is almost-"

"CUFF HIM!" shouted the officer. Another cop came in from behind, tackled Liu to the floor, and put handcuffs on him. Margaret walked in on this scene and screamed... and also dropped and broke some plates she was holding. God dammit Margaret.

Liu screamed as he was being walked out of the house and into the police cruiser.

"WHAT? WHY? WHAT THE HELL? JEFF TELL THEM!!!"

"Tell them... what, Liu?"

"TELL THEM THAT YOU DID IT!"

Jeff slowly looked away and began whistling. Liu was shoved into the car's back seat and cried as the officers walked to the front. On the backseat window laid a lot of fog, in which Liu started to write. Jeff squinted to see more clearly and as the cruiser began speeding off, Jeff saw his brother's final message to him...

 

_ur a dick_


End file.
